Do I really need this?

I know I am at a point in my life where being a minimalist would benefit me, but that just makes it so much harder. I could be a minimalist but my brain misses the point and wants to BUY stuff to prepare for being one. What? I don't even know how to combat that kind of thinking. 

I would love to downsize to hardly anything but I start to go through my clothes and realize I'm attached to all of it. If I don't wear it I convince myself that eventually I could want it back. I did start small by getting rid of a few things to sell. But people keep giving me things and I feel bad for getting rid of them but I just don't need all the stuff I have. Our apartment is really tiny so it is a nightmare trying to figure out what to do with all our extra things. Hopefully when we move into a house it won't be as big of a problem because we will have more space. How do you tell people you don't want them to give you things anymore? What if their love language is gift giving? I am certainly at a loss for what to do. 

Working at the mall doesn't help anything either. I am very attracted to minimalist living because I love the idea of everything I have being able to fit in a backpack, but I also love to buy new things. And I just want one of everything. (Or maybe more than one...yep I definitely have a problem.)

I'm hoping to start a money saving journey that can teach me to be content with what I have. I know I am not in need of anything and if I am God will provide, but it is just so hard to let go of control.

I challenge you to try and get rid of a few things around your place and donate them. Learning to be content is something everyone can work on.

Grace

No, I'm not going to be talking about a girl, I'm going to be talking about God. In the past 6 months or so my relationship with Him has been flat-lining. I haven't been active in any church activities and have hardly been to church due to things that happen to fall on Sundays lately. But marriage is actually putting me back in that place I used to be with God.

Every Sunday there is talk of grace. What it is, who it is from, why we need it. I've always thought, "Yeah, yeah grace. I need it. I have it." I have never thought about needing to give it until now. Let me just say I absolutely love being married to Stephen, it is the happiest I have ever been. But he is a man...and men just do things that get on women's nerves. And a lot of the time he is just trying to be helpful.

A couple of weeks ago, I went out for my morning run. I left at the same time as Stephen. We kissed and parted ways. In the back of my mind I was thinking, "I hope he didn't turn around and lock the door. Nah he needs to get to work and I just saw him walk to his car." So I continued on and do my thirty minute walk/run program to get ready for a 5k. By the time I got back I was sweating profusely, starving and dehydrating. After talking myself into just climbing up the stairs to the apartment, I turned the knob and push. The door was locked. At first I started to get angry then it turns into hysterical laughter. Of course something like this would happen to me.

I called Stephen as I panicked about how I was supposed to make it to class on time. And we argued for a good five to ten minutes about why I didn't lock the door and the fact that he did. So eventually we figured out the only option was for him to drive all the way back from his work in a different city to come home and let me in, after he had just walked in the door of work. We were both pretty aggravated.

He finally got home to let me in. This is just one of the things (nothing else has been this bad) that has made me realize I needed to give grace to other people, especially my husband. It is a daily struggle to respect him the way I am supposed to because I'm really bossy. But I am learning. Maybe I'll be a pro at it eventually since I figured it out this soon. Probably not.